Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Randomize
