I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
third nipple confirmed
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize