Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
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I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize