I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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