So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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