This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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