Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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