just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
