I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
