you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize