Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
