Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
