I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
