what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think people are normalizing furries
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
