I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
