My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
