well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize