Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize