Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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