I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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