you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
