So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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