Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
