That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
