Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
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Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
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I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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