Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
