Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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