Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
