we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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