Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.