Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night