Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just want to make out with him forever
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it