Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.