I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize