Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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