Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have tasted many bathrooms
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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