thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
