...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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