She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
