Don't you send me to vm
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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