I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
