We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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