he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
