i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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