don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
