Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you had me at cake vodka
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
