He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
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tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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