Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
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just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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