It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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