He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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