my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh god it's open bar.
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