HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
