Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
