Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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