Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
