i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize