I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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