the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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