i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs