I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
