He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
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Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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