I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
