I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
