It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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