Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Randomize
